Due to my submission of "Bridal March", some have inferred that I am a misogynist, and oppose the sanctity of marriage. But not so! Even now, I am looking for candidates to be the next Mrs#4, and this song serves as my plaintive love song to her, wherever she may be.
But there are some salient points of which she should be aware:
1) Mrs#4 should be wealthy, or at least have a high-paying and established career, so that she might keep me in a manner to which I've never been accustomed.
2) Mrs#4 should have no children (or grandchildren) living at home. I've raised houses full of children (none of them mine), and I sold the last toy box at a yard sale two years ago.
3) The next Mrs#4 should not be some dumb ass, unable to carry on intelligent conversation.
4) My hobbies are hiking and playing the guitar(Don't touch my guitars!). But I'm open to other activities - travel, country clubbing, horseback riding, theatre, concerts, wine tastings, boating, ballroom dancing, etc. If Mrs#4 has the money, I have the time.
5) If Mrs#4 wants to maintain separate households, that's OK. If she is ugly, it is preferable.
6) I have animals, and I maintain a respectable patina of dust in my house. If a candidate has allergies, or other physical sensitivities, she should not consider my offer.
7) I expect no whining, complaining or nagging from Mrs#4. Life is too short for that shit!
8) I do not smoke, and neither should Mrs#4. I do, however, sometimes use Copenhagen; but I promise that my mouth will always be evacuated during any form of oral pleasuring, and that I do not spit or use a cup.
9) I'm an older gentleman, and currently in excellent health. But I want to assure Mrs#4 that she will never incur healthcare liability on my part. I'm a Viet Nam veteran (Infantry, and no, I'm not crazy or dangerous), under lifetime care of the Veterans' Administration. The next Mrs#4 should likewise have some kind of health insurance or arrangement.
10) I watch very little TV. If Mrs#4 must do so, then she should be advised that she will most likely be doing it alone.
11) I do drink, mostly bourbon straight up, and an occasional beer. But I drink in moderation - I haven't thrown up or wet myself in decades. If Mrs#4 drinks, she must likewise be able to hold her liquor. See my video "Drunken Woman Blues" for further clarifications.
12) I have no interest in being converted to some new religious or political belief system.
13) I'm an uncommon person, therefore at the outset, it is unlikely that we will have much in common. No one need apply if she needs the comfort and security of being amongst crowds of like-minded people.
14) YouTube makes me look fat.
Played finger style on my 12-string National steel bodied "Delphi" resonator guitar.
Note: I wear the ski mask because I'm otherwise famous, and don't want this to "get out".
Author: hoopiejohn
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